Depression is creeping back in through a side door. I should have seen it coming. Even reading my most recent posts on this blog are clues that it was making a reappearance.
Ruminations. Negative self-perception. Exhaustion even without alcohol. Hating my husband and my life.
I saw my therapist on Saturday and she raised the Wellbutrin to 100 mg. and lowered the Klonopin to half a 0.5 mg pill. I continue to take 20 mg Celexa. Lynn must think my depression is worse and the Klonopin is making me tired. It’s been 4 days with a higher dose of the SSRI and still not feeling better. My plan is to continue lowering the Klonopin but since I use it to sleep I fear insomnia so I’m tapering off gradually.
My resolve is down and I am weak right now. I broke my 100-plus streak of sober days and drank on Saturday night. It’s odd how I really don’t feel that bad about it. In fact, I liked the tranquility. Sad but true, self-medication is what I know when my thinking turns against me.
♥ Daylily ♥