Antidepressants make me tired and lifeless

Is it so wrong that I love to take naps during the day on my memory foam mattress?  Do I have a problem that I sneak off early to my bed — in search of alone time — to go to bed before the rest of my family?  What about that I sleep with ear plugs and a pillow over my head?  Does that say This girl has issues?  She does not want to be a part of  life? 

My husband sleeps in another room.  Not far away, less that 20 feet from my head to his but still it’s not the same bed.  When we sleep together, he snores and I don’t like to be touched at night.  I wake easily by his light snoring and I go into flight or fight reflex if he wraps his arm around me.  I complain and he leaves the room so he can get a good nights sleep.  It’s become easier for him to sleep in the guest room across the hall from our master bedroom.  No one gets woken up with this situation.  (Now might be the time to mention we’ve been together for 30 years, married 23).

My Husband came to my bed and woke me up this morning with a need for intimacy that I did not feel.  I kept the ear plugs in and the pillow over my head.  All I said was, “I wanted to sleep late today.”  I feel so guilty that I don’t respond if I don’t feel like it and this morning I had no desire.  As I lay in bed, pillow over my head, I thought I should be wearing pretty panties for husband.  Not the big, white, Hane’s hi-cut briefs that are so comfortable.  What happened to those days when I bought Maidenform matching sets for hubby?  I used to go to great lengths to buy stockings, garters, bra and panties, back in the good old days.  But, Hubby doesn’t complain.  He sees beauty beneath all the outer stuff (like big white undies) and truly seems in love with me for who I am.  He appreciates the essence of my femininity and gets off on something he sees in me that I often lack the ability to see in myself.  I feel he needs pretty lace panties to find me attractive but he doesn’t.  It’s been years since I bought that stuff.  I shouldn’t even be thinking that’s what he needs.  He would rather just have his wife take the ear plugs out of her ears and the pillow off her head and engage in mutually satisfying sex.

Sigh… I suspect the medication is causing a lack of desire.  ♥ Daylily

4 responses to “Antidepressants make me tired and lifeless

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    Though I know not the whole story, it seems to me someone has stolen from you that feeling good at being touched, embraced, loved. I hope earnestly you win it back into your heart.
    When Daniel was infant, I did in fact sometimes stare at the wall as he played in his play room. I remember once as a toddler he came to me and there were tears in my eyes and he looked into my eyes and touched my tear, sort of wiped it, and it felt like Jesus had touched me, sought to wipe away the tear. I embraced him. I WAS SO WRONG BEING DEPRESSED, I knew, but I could NOT move in my depression (not my head I couldn’t), so I moved my body, for Daniel’s sake and did something to distract us.

    Achingly, I wish you the best. AntiDs shouldn’t make you tired, I don’t think. Last year when I attempted suicide with GENUINE INTENT to pass from this earth, I had been trying several – this kind, that, this kind, that. I am now on Effexor – the maximum dose – and I feel so, so much more capable at facing life. I am still struck emotionally by what occurs in my life, but I am not struck out of the dark any more, from ‘nowhere’, knocked down ‘somehow’.

    Firstly, give them time to work; and secondly, if they don’t work or have adverse effects, do see your doc for a different kind. Good luck.

    • I’ve got a lot of experience with antidepressants and none are perfect so I suffer with the ones that have the least amount of side effects. Truthfully, I get tried on them when I drink — the combination depresses my entire nervous system and it takes a few days to rebound back from the fatigue. My life is an up and down ride with emotions and tiredness. –Daylily

      • WordsFallFromMyEyes

        Oh DayLily, my heart really reaches you in what you say. Drinking most definitely depresses the whole damn being, & I have done it since teens. Isn’t that tragic? It only became a problem though when I left Perth with Daniel mid-2008, for Melbourne (west Australia to east Australia).

        I myself am self-reflecting a lot through my blogs – WordsFall plus http://www.VodkaWasMyMuse.wordpress.com – & it helps me to realise what I AM DOING with my life/existence.

        I hope truly that writing it out helps with you, that over time it will prove good for you, positive, reinforcing.

        My sincere wishes, DayLily. N.

      • Yes, I, too, have been drinking since I was a teen. My therapist once pointed out that I have never dealt with my feelings for a long period without alcohol. I abstained through 2 pregnancies and breastfeeding but returned rather quickly once my body was my own to do as I wanted without regard for another.

        I love your blogs and your honest videos but you know that many people do. You are so honest and vulnerable. I don’t know how you do it. I hide my insecurities by wearing a mask (actually, more like an entire costume) to appear self-confident and intelligent but I don’t feel that way deep inside. Some days that person in control of everything does feel like me but other days I’m insecure and full of self-doubt. Just writing about that side is difficult but I will try to persevere and learn I am okay with all my feelings.

        Thank you for commenting on my little blog. I’m honored! –Daylily

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