Aside

Anxiety pays a visit…

My anxiety level is through the roof right now!  I must admit I am not handling things well. My husband, kids and I are traveling (in-car/auto) to New York City to celebrate a college graduation.  This is not my side of the family but I love the graduate as if she were my own daughter.  I’m going about the house, cleaning, washing, and generally getting ready for the trip, all the while, totally stressing out that we won’t have the right clothes to wear or my house will not be presentable for my neighbors/friends who will come into my home and walk/feed my dog. 

 My 11-year-old said, “All you are doing is yelling.” 

My husband said, “Calm down.”

My 14-year-old asked me, “What are you so worried about?” 

I answered my older son, by saying, “I’ve got anxiety.”

Last night, I was so stressed out I took the remaining 2 Tylenol #3 (w/codeine) tablets just to calm down.  After the medication kicked in, I hugged my husband and said, “I’m sorry I’m yelling at everyone.”  My youngest son joined in the hug.  They know I’m totally on the edge and they are getting the brunt of it. 

Me, Mom, freaking out about the house, laundry, clothes, packing, dog, etc.  I hate this feeling!

Tonight I bought a bottle of Pinot Grigio and tried to wash away this anxiety.  My husband took the boys to my youngest’s “band concert” at school.  I appreciated this time to myself and walked the dog, colored my hair, did my nails and generally prepared for our trip tomorrow. 

I forgot to mention that work is adding stress, too, because I have to speak in front of a large group of people.  I survived the presentation today and once I get through tomorrow I think this anxiety will lift. 

It sucks the way outside stress gets turned toward the people we love and who don’t deserve it.  I know much of my anxiety is work related and as soon as I’m done for the week (tomorrow, which can’t come too soon!) I will relax. ♥

–Daylily

4 responses to “Anxiety pays a visit…

  1. Sounds like you have an amazingly sensitive family behind you. Don’t forget to give your boys lots of hugs.

  2. Only recently have I been able to identify “anxiety” and see that I’m not suddenly losing all control over my whole life!!! thats its just this weird thing that comes over me, often with out a reason.

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