Determined to stay sober

It’s Friday night and I’m sticking to my pledge to not drink anything with alcohol.  It’s been a long time since I didn’t drink on a weekend so this will be quite challenging.  Tonight I’m not feeling any triggers to open a bottle of wine but what will I do when the urge comes?  That’s the ultimate test of my will.  Can I stay strong under stress?  I hear a voice telling me “Alcohol Awareness Month” begins in April so — technically — if I drink this weekend I haven’t broken the plan I made in my last post. 

But, I’m not going to fall for rationalizing why it’s okay to drink.  I’ve got a lot going on this weekend and some important meetings early next week and I would prefer to not be hung over and bloated.  I don’t know if it’s just me, but my face always looks more puffy after I’ve binged all weekend.  I know some other good things could really come about with me not drowning my feelings with alcohol. My depression medicine would definitely work more efficiently, therefore my emotions might become more balanced and predictable.  Not drinking would certainly help my sleep patterns, which would give me more energy and make me more productive.  There’s a lot of shit I put off because I’m too tired and now that spring is here, I’ve got the whole yard clean-up job looming over me. 

But, can a person who has used drinking on the weekends as a reward for having coped all week refrain?  I’m going to give it my best shot.  I’m off to a good start since my last drink was Sunday. 

I usually see Lynn on Saturdays and I’m relieved I don’t have to go to the therapist tomorrow.  Nothing feels urgent with my mental health and I feel eerily calm and under control. 

Well, tonight writing in my blog is like pulling teeth, the words are not coming out easilyI’ll take that as a good thing that I don’t have pressing issues weighing down my thoughts. ♥

6 responses to “Determined to stay sober

  1. keep it up. i haven’t had a drink in about 1 and a half weeks. it gets easier, but not easy

  2. good luck with the not drinking. Trust me, I know how f’n hard it is.

  3. keep writing, it will give you more power to do what you have broadcast to all of us – your blogging supporters. but no, it will not be easy.

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