I’m going to write about side effects so that I have a record of what particular drugs do to me. When you have tried as many as me, it’s good to remember the good and the bad of each one.
Wellbutrin made me angry and irritable on 150 mg. It also raised my hormones so quickly I got tender breasts (a pre-menstrual symptom) and caused my period to arrive 2 weeks after the last one. Looking back, I think the sense of being pissed off at everyone could have been a symptom of pms. Thankfully, I’m at the end of all of that (except now in my cycle is when I get migraines due to crashing hormone levels — not related to antidepressant medications).
Wellbutrin had a good effect on my libido and increased the ease in which I could achieve orgasm. This was nice while it lasted but it also felt a bit obsessive. I’m just being honest here and I don’t mean to embarrass anyone. Stop reading now if you don’t want to hear a woman talk about self-fulfillment. Since orgasm was effortless I took a lot of self-gratifying afternoon naps – many more than I needed to. That is not like me at all and, in hindsight, I think I was possessed or something. It was an out-of-mind experience and I was driven by hormones from the Wellbutrin or just from the Wellbutrin. I guess you could say, looking back, I feel like I know what a sex addict experiences. Except, I didn’t go looking for others and most of the time my husband wasn’t even involved. It was not intimate, personal or filled with love or affection. It was absolutely for the sexual release and nothing else. This pleasure ride didn’t last, though.☺
The Celexa I’ve been on for a few weeks changed all that. I lost the desire to even have sex. The other morning my husband woke me with a poke (you know what I mean) and I went through the motions without any interest. I just wanted him to get it over with so we could get up and make coffee. Today, I tried to get off by myself and I didn’t complete the act. It felt like it was going to take too long and the effort wasn’t worth it. This is the more typical response I get with antidepressants. Lack of desire. Couldn’t there be a happy medium?
I notice that this side-effect transfers into other areas, where I lose an interest in keeping my house as tidy as usual. I’ve got two clean baskets of laundry to put away since Sunday and I keep walking right by them. My kids throw their towels on their bedroom carpet after their showers and I haven’t the energy to yell at them to hang them up in the bathroom. I hate the way the antidepressants make me not give a damn about cleaning and keeping up with the routines of my house.
But, on the flip-side of that same laid-back attitude there is a positive effect. The Celexa has calmed my mood with my husband and children. I’ve been really patient with my 11-year-old son who needs extra help with his school work. I bought him a Kindle over the weekend and he and I are taking turns reading aloud to each other. This is a positive step that I’m giving him more attention with school. If it was up to him, he would play XBOX from the moment he got home until bedtime. My relationship with my 14-year-old son is good, too. He asked me tonight if I would take him, a buddy and 2 girls to the movie theater on Saturday. This will be his first date and I’m pleased he trusts me to be a part of it. I’ve been encouraging him to do something with a girl so he could feel that innocent flutter of puppy love. I know he can be trusted to respect a girl because he’s such a sweet guy and I think it would be nice for him to hold hands in the movies. I joked with him, “Can I sit behind you guys?” Of course, I won’t, though.
The Celexa is keeping the relationship with my husband calmer than usual. I’m not complaining too much and the small stuff is just rolling off my back. I’d like him to do a lot of things around the house on the weekends but he doesn’t. He tends to focus on his many hobbies because he claims he needs the mental break after working all week. I know that’s true about him so I’m letting him be. Instead, I make a point of telling everyone, “On the weekends, you all get a break from school and work and I’m still cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking the meals, taking care of the pets, etc.” My husband will say thank you and occasionally clean the kitchen and make breakfast. My point with all of this is that I’m not bogged down in negativity. I’m relaxed and unaffected by others behaviors. All of this is a positive change in mood and I’m glad for it.
One last side effect is the medications are curbing my appetite. I stopped craving carbs, which is good because I’ve put on a lot of weight since I began antidepressants. I’ve lost about 8 lbs without even trying.
I cancelled my therapy appointment that was scheduled for 8 am this Saturday. I’m feeling good and I really don’t want to have to get up early and leave my house on a Saturday. I work all week and I could use a morning to sleep in. I left a message on Lynn’s machine that I would keep my appointment for the following Saturday at 10 am. That time is easier to get up for. I hope she understands. I’m thinking she may not want that 8:00 time either and was just squeezing me in because I complained she wasn’t giving me enough time.♥