Let’s just start out with the facts. The Celexa is kicking in and I am feeling good. No extreme worries or unabated anger. With depression at bay, I’m not ruminating over anything. My past has returned to its rightful place – distant memories that do not take up space in my present thoughts. I don’t feel shame, pain, isolation, guilt, anger, sadness or self-hate. I actually like my life again and things have settled down. It’s amazing what a positive change the SSRI’s can do when they work with minimal side effects.
I’ve been sleeping soundly for about 6 nights now. The past few mornings I got out of bed before my alarm and felt ready to take on the day. My kids are enjoying Mom’s new mood because I’m not barking at them every second and I even set out their breakfast (which they have come to rely on themselves for and, given they are 11 and 14, they are quite capable).
The medications I’m taking are all generics but for the life of me I can’t remember them by said names so I will use the brand name. I’m on 100 mg Wellbutrin, 10 mg Celexa (which I take in the morning) and I have been taking .5 mg Klonopin in the evening which helps me sleep deeply. The sleep in itself could be the partial reason for my good mood. I haven’t slept 11-6 for a week in I don’t know how long – forever!
I’ve got an important meeting today so I’m glad I’m not stressed out. It’s going to require me to be an exceptional listener and ask reflective questions which are not easy when I feel angry and anxious. This lift in mood came at the perfect time.