November 26, 2011
I had the best of intentions to stop drinking now that I have officially ended my stint with Pristiq. I really truly do want to see what baseline is for me. But,that’s been blown out of the water with Thanksgiving at my house. I started drinking Wednesday evening with a 1.5 liter Pinot Grigio. Thursday evening I finished the Pinot bottle and switched to an opened bottle of Merlot that others were sipping. As I cleaned up the kitchen I was pretty much downing all opened bottles that I discovered. Friday, I enjoyed an expensive bottle that was supposed to be for the quests, however, the guests preferred red so it was leftover for me. Lucky me! That, along with some more leftover red, had me stumbling to bed last night.
Baseline is not happening. I suppose, the lesson learned is that my depression causes me to medicate with alcohol, whether I’m on an antidepressant or not. The relief I get from wine is a necessary evil…and that is why I’m seeing a new therapist. I want to take this problem by the horns and ride it out, bucking, kicking and bleeding. I will be truthful with Lynn that I lack resolve and that is why I’m seeing her.
My problem is not about alcohol but it also kind of is because I’m drinking too much due to depression. Is there a medication that will help my depression and allow me to be alcohol free?